Random Musings of One Tired Momma

When I was growing up, my sisters and I got disciplined….well, my older sister and I, lol. Our youngest sister, she was momma and daddy’s baby. My parents didn’t necessarily find an issue with her behavior until she was a teenager……at least from what I can remember. Anywho, we got disciplined…..not the corner, not to our room, not grounded or something taken away. We got our butts whooped…..with spoons, belts, brushes, whatever was handy. We even got the crap slapped out of us if our mouths got the better of us. We learned real quick not to talk back. But, we talked back anyway to a point.

But, through all the discipline, I love my parents dearly and I appreciate all the discipline I received as it made me a better human. And, I would most definitely choose my parents always! I don’t look back over my life and feel sorry for anything I went through. I remember being angry about some things in my life when I was a teenager, but that anger is long gone. Now, when I look back on my life (I’m 44, btw), I appreciate the teachings I received, the stuff I went through, the people I met and lost, hardships I faced, hurdles I defeated and triumphs that made my heart sing. You see, we grow….we learn….we heal and we move on. That’s how it’s supposed to be. My sisters and I were not spoiled by money, but my mom and dad gave us what they could. However, they LOVED us unconditionally.

After becoming a parent myself, I’ve made mistakes with my children. We all do and rightly so as none of us are perfect. But, God has a plan for us, we only need trust it. But, back to parenting….my hubby and I have tried soft love, talking love, discipline love….we parent our children daily. Sometimes, tough love is needed. I am the parent that allows my children to learn through failure (but not really failure). You see, if I’ve told my 6 year old daughter to wear proper shoes while helping with chores 25 times (total exaggeration) and she still isn’t heeding my words, I stop telling her. The other day, she was helping me move some brush in the yard. We were doing it by hand. I told her a couple of times to change her sandals to work shoes. She just kept blowing me off until she finally caught her sandal on a small branch and fell. I asked her if she was okay as her lip was trembling. She didn’t cry, but I could tell she really wanted to. I was aggravated and she knew it, but I didn’t say anything. However, lesson learned.

And this is, but one story in which I’ve let my children learn through their stubbornness rather than try to force the outcome. With 9 children, I have lots of stories!

But, despite the stories, lessons sometimes are just harder to learn, often resulting in multiple scenarios being repetitive while ending in less than desirable outcomes. It’s simply growing and learning…finding their own way through sheer stubbornness.

So, tough love teachings have become ‘it’ for me. Sometimes, tough love is what it takes.

At this point in my life, I’m beginning to have the same attitude with every one. A good rule of thumb many shops, stores, etc have adopted…..’you break it, you buy it.’ The same could be said for most everything in this life. However, what’s broken will change drastically. We, as individuals with free will, can break relationships, trust, time constraints, rules, the norm, what is accepted and what is not, etc. But, we all will face the music in due time. I have learned that people only learn when they are ready to learn.

Drugs have been an issue surrounding me. I am no longer on drugs because I finally learned my lesson. But I know for some people it is a struggle. It doesn’t matter what they lose (tough love), it’s never the drugs.

Until it is. But again, only when people are ready to learn what the drugs are trying to teach them. And NO, I am NOT condoning drugs. In fact, I really don’t even want to be around people who are on drugs in case of my own slip up. I don’t want to be encouraged to join. I don’t want to have it readily available to me. I don’t want to be around it at all for fear I may fall back into that trap. But, tough love!

What are some lessons you learned through tough love? Besides the lesson itself, what else did you learn about yourself, about life, about the world in which we live?

I hope to see some responses!