Maybe you’ve become really good at saying, “I’m fine.”

Maybe you don’t tell people what is happening inside your head because you don’t want to add one more thing to their plate. You see your parents already worrying about enough. You see your spouse working hard. You see your friends dealing with their own problems. You look around and think, They don’t need my problems too.

So you keep them to yourself.

You smile. You go to work. You take care of your responsibilities. You answer, “I’m good,” when someone asks how you’re doing. And little by little, you convince yourself that keeping your pain hidden is somehow an act of love.

Please hear me when I say this: you are not a burden because you are hurting.

As a mom, I know there is almost nothing my children could tell me that would make me wish they had stayed silent instead. I might worry. I might not know what to do. I might need to ask for help myself. But I would rather know they were hurting than have them believe they had to protect me from their pain.

That’s what I want people to understand.

The people who love you would rather know.

They would rather sit beside you at two in the morning than spend the rest of their lives wishing they had known. They would rather have the uncomfortable conversation than have silence become permanent. They would rather help you find support than find out afterward that you were carrying something you thought you had to carry alone.

You don’t have to earn the right to ask for help by reaching your breaking point.

You don’t have to prove that your pain is serious enough.

You don’t have to apologize for needing someone.

And you don’t have to protect everyone else by disappearing from their lives.

I know that when someone is deeply hurting, those words may not feel true. Pain can distort the way we see ourselves. It can convince us that we’re causing problems, that we’re taking up too much space, that everyone would be better off without us.

But that feeling is not a fact.

You are still someone’s child. Someone’s spouse. Someone’s parent. Someone’s brother or sister. Someone’s friend. Someone who matters to people in ways you may not be able to see from where you’re standing right now.

So please, tell somebody.

You can start with just three words:

“I’m not okay.”

You don’t have to explain everything. You don’t have to have the whole story figured out. Just let someone know that you need them.

And if someone you love tells you they feel like a burden, don’t argue with them or dismiss what they’re feeling. Listen. Stay close. Remind them that needing help doesn’t make them less valuable. Help them connect with the support they need.

Sometimes the person who thinks they’re protecting everyone by staying silent needs to hear this most:

We don’t need you to be easy. We need you to be here.

Your life is not an inconvenience.

Your pain is not an inconvenience.

You are not a burden.

If you are thinking about suicide or feel you may be in danger of hurting yourself, call or text 988 in the U.S. You can also go to the nearest emergency department or call 911 if there is immediate danger.

#SuicidePreventionMonth #SuicideAwareness #YouAreNotABurden #MentalHealthMatters #EveryLifeMatters