Day 11

As a mom, I’ve learned that raising teenagers means constantly reminding myself that I don’t live inside their world.

I remember being a teenager.

But I wasn’t a teenager in their world.

They are growing up with pressures that can be difficult for adults to understand—social media, constant comparison, bullying that doesn’t end when the school bell rings, friendship drama, relationships, academic pressure, loneliness and the feeling that everyone else has figured life out except them.

And sometimes what looks like a small problem to us can feel like the end of the world to them.

It’s easy to say, “You’ll get over it.”

Because we know they probably will.

But in the moment they’re hurting, they don’t necessarily have our perspective.

That’s why I’ve always believed our kids need boundaries, guidance and adults willing to say no—but they also need a safe place to fall when life hurts.

They need to know they can come to us with the ugly stuff.

The embarrassing stuff.

The things they think we’ll be angry about.

The things they don’t know how to explain.

And especially the things that scare them.

I don’t want my kids to believe they have to be perfect to be loved.

I don’t want them thinking that making a mistake means they’ve disappointed me beyond repair.

And I don’t want them believing they have to carry something alone because they’re afraid of how I’ll react.

Parenting isn’t about preventing every painful thing from happening.

We can’t do that.

It’s about making sure our children know where they can go when the painful things happen.

So ask your teenager how they’re doing.

Then listen.

Not while scrolling your phone. Not while preparing your response. Not while thinking about the lecture you’re going to give them.

Actually listen.

And if they tell you something that scares you, remember this:

Their honesty is not the problem. Their pain is the problem.

Don’t punish them for trusting you enough to tell you about it.

Be the safe place.

Because sometimes the child who says, “Mom, I need to tell you something,” is taking an enormous risk by opening that door.

Make sure they know you’ll walk through it with them.

#SuicidePreventionMonth #SuicideAwareness #ParentingTeens #ListenToYourKids #CheckOnYourKids